I heard we made out
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
