yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
