you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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