a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
