He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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