In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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