Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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