My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
