i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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