There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
