Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ugly people sure do ruin things
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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