This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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