He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
