My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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