guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
