The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
