Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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