So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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