his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
