i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
