Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
