i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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