Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
