There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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