u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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