So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
