so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
