I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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