If that was your dad, he is hot
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
