ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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