ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
