your thong is hanging out like whoa
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
