I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
