Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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