I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
