This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
