You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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