I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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