Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
