I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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