This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
