I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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