whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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