I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
