She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
