Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
