Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
