apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
