Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
