hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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